All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
