I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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