I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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