He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
