he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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