Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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