i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What a dumb baby whore.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
