talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
