Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
