My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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