Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You made out with two different species that night
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
