I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
