BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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