Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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