did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
