We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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