I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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