she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
