When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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