Small penises have feelings too.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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