you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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