I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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