those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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