That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just had sex bonerless
Who wears a wallet chain?!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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