you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
