Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
