The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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