why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
