so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
