Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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