She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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