You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
