If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
