got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
