Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
