just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
