It's Friday. Sex?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize