Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
