i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
