I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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