whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
