I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
