Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
