Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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