Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
