Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
