Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.