My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
