i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
