Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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