Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
