so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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