You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
