I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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