when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
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I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
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and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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