If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
