it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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